Catpaws Cafe

Random musings from my virtual fountain pen

Archive for the tag “meditation”

the then what?

The then what?

Trying to solve a problem from the outside in
is not possible
There’s that vacuum feeling of
I want something
something new.
a new haircut
something to wear
but what you really want is to dull that vacuum feeling…

So ”women” go shopping,
”men” more often head for a pub.
I want to fill that void
but I don’t know what I need
that’s when you get the then what.

So, I got a new haircut – now what?
Still feel the same undefined restlessness
but with a new haircut.
You feel better for a little while and then…
Nothing’s changed.
It’s the If I only had such and such syndrome;
new shoes/ jeans/ stuff for the house/ chocolate/ bottle of wine
books, cd’s, games sometimes last a little longer
but it always comes back.

I keep searching for that which will make it all better
I will try it on for size energetically
and if it does not do it for me
I will no longer accept bandaids.
And until now it has always fallen short.
I don’t want to pay for a quick fix any more
I want to truly identify what’s going on here
so I can make a lasting fundamental change.
Not a shiny thing to distract me with it’s newness and sparkle
for the next what, day? Hour? Week?
And then where am I?
back where I left off last time
but with less money in my pocket
and more to carry when we move.

Breathe.  Just breathe.
Then breathe some more.
And some more.
Deep, delicious breaths.
Cutting yourself off from source is such a bitch.
Plug back in.
Now, isn’t that better?

Meditating in Colour

It is summer in Mexico.  That means it’s ridiculously hot and humid most of the time.  I haven’t posted anything for a while and the reason for this is many-fold:-

My husband have started working days instead of nights, and although this was something we both have wanted to change for a long time, it still created a lot of upheaval.
My computer had a breakdown and took 6 weeks to get fixed.  But mainly, I prioritized finishing the book I’ve been writing for the last two years!  I received the cover for the book a few days ago and I’m thrilled with how it’s looking and I can’t wait to share it with you all!  The manuscript is now with the editors so I’ve had time for a break and time to paint.

Close-up of Exotic Blooms.

Close-up of Exotic Blooms.

For me painting is a lot like meditating; I get an idea and just let the inspiration and mood flow with it.
The only colour that is readily available where we live is grouche (and acrylics, which does not work so well for what I do), so that is what I use the most.  I save my water-colours as a special treat ;)
Cartulina is like a cross between cardboard and plasterboard, and is also available locally rather than involving an energetically draining daytrip to the nearest big city.  It’s great for it’s stiffness when I have to whisk it off the table and out of the way when the cat decides to check out how it’s progressing…
I like cartulina because it is very suitable to the kind of pointalism I enjoy playing with.  I like the way it bleeds just a little when it dries, giving it that mosaicy kind of look that I like.  With the bright daylight we have plenty of it makes the paintings remind me of stained glass windows.  I weave lots of stuff into the dots, and I love it when people see their own pictures within my pictures……

Sorry lovely readers, the sun is shining, I’ve got some more meditating to do!

Blue Yonder mkII“Blue Yonder, mk2”, copyright Liz Rosales CatpawsCafe.  Contact me if you want to use it, buy the original or a print.

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