Catpaws Cafe

Happy Birthday

-Morning Beautiful! Congratulations on being on this planet for half a century. Here’s a coffee – just the way you like it – and a gluten free croissant, good quality imported butter on the side, French Brie and avocado.
-Eh, wow!
-Now, how’s that body of yours doing? Need a bit of tune up or adjustments?
-Please!
-There you go! General tone up, slender legs and arms, flat belly, firm boobs. New spine and neck, new ligaments and tendons where missing. No more migraines or insomnia. No more allergies or food intolerances. Done.
-Wow! My word!  (flexing an unrecognisable ankle).
-Now, what would you like to do today? Anything!
-Eh, can I have endless inspiration to write, please? And better grammar…
-Consider it done. Let’s throw in a five book contract, an editor, and an agent who loves your work at the same time. What else?  This is your day, no time to be bashful. Go for it!
(insert Gulp and nervous laughter)
-Can you arrange for a granny annex for us and work for hubby that he enjoys in BC? Beam us, the cat, and our stuff there?
-Would you like to dress and shower first?
-I think so. Probably best. And feed the cats.

-There you are then! Rent’s paid for a year to get you started. Ready?
-Ready as I’ll ever be.
-Done! Here we are! Want us to unpack?
-Holy carp! Please, since you seem so good at it.
-Ok. What’s next?
-Can I have a little tea party with my celestial mates in the garden this evening?
-Of course. Can’t see why not. Sushi? Strawberries and coconut cream?
-Perfect! Look forward to it. A new journal and fountain pen? A writing desk and bookcase?
-Have a look around, I think you’ll find them in the study.
– There is a study?
-Indeed.  There’s also a new queen memory foam mattress in the bedroom, and a set of bedding to fit too. It must be comfortable coz your husband seem to have fallen asleep on it already, and the cat’s are playing chase in the kitchen. As well as your own books we added a few we thought you’ll enjoy. Anything else?
-A few local friends would be wonderful.
-They’ll text you tomorrow. Here’s your keys.
-Oh, for the house?
-For the house and the car in the driveway. Though you might need one. It’s insured and taxed.  Happy birthday love! There’s one downtown, in Field street.
-Uh?
-An excellent tattooist. For that cattoo you’ve been wanting to get. And you have an appointment with the P’s at 3pm tomorrow. Enjoy!
I am speechless. I don’t know what to say. I really don’t. Flabbergasted.
-Don’t go! I haven’t even begun to thank you yet!  I don’t even know your name…

The mosquitoes pull me out of my reverie.
I love our roof, but damn, I wish this had been real.