Today is the day before my book comes out. I’ve recently been reading the writers diary of an author I admire so I thought I’d share some of my own jittery thoughts on this the evening before….. before what exactly? That IS the big question. Apart from the technical side (which I’ve recently spent even more sleepless nights going through all-sorts in my wired brain) hopes, fears and thrills all mingle together right now
Occasionally when I write I get a hint that I’ve got a ‘hit’ article in front of me, but most of the time you just put one word after another the very best way you can and hope that when you or someone else read it it will flow and make sense. After working on something for so long- and on yourself alongside of it – it’s got to the point where I’m blind to my own words and it’s impossible to even have a clue as to where it’s going. Is it going to sink like a stone or take me new places?
I actually wrote the last chapter on the December Solstice of 2012, and then re-writing and editing (including 3 months without a computer when something broke) just dragged on. Then a change of editor, it feels like it’s been going on forever.
I’ve lived and breathed this for so long, personally I’m at the stage where I just want to sit back, move on and focus on my next project (which is Sci-Fy by the way, and more Timetravellers Wife than Starwars). And now in a sense, it’s only just beginning… again. Now begins the part I dread, the promotions bit.
I just want the book to find it’s way to those who will enjoy it like a treasured secret; that feels personal and exclusive to each and everyone of it’s readers. I have no desire to shove it in anyone’s face and say “Buy it! Read it!” especially as I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea – or even coffee. I’m not that kind of person. I’m not “I don’t care if people read it or like it or not as long as it sells.” My wish is that if you buy it I hope you will laugh and cry and get truth-bumps along the ride with me.
It’s been another blazing hot summers day here today. That’d be great if I was in England but I’m not. Two days ago it was close to +40c here – about 100f – in the shade, and that’s just too hot for comfort for me.
This weekend before the launch day (7 July 2014) I’ve wished I could go for a walk with those closest to my heart; on the beach on a cloudy day, from Sandown to Yaverland or the walkway from St Helens to the Duver, or up on any of the downs where the views of Vectis island (or Isle of Wight as you better spell it if you want to google it) are splendid.
Then in the evening end up somewhere like the Crab & Lobster for a dinner with my friends, the family we choose and who choose us, and just enjoy each others company. Forget about nerves and apprehension with those who will be there regardless if it flops or goes crazy. Because to them it does not matter, I’ll still be me regardless whether this is a success or not. Not that I don’t think they wish for me whatever my heart desires.
This is the first book I’ve completed in 20 years; I’m good at starting things, not so good at seeing things through to completion.
I guess I now have to grow into this self, a self in focus. And when I figure out how to describe what I mean with that with words, those reading this blog will be the first to know.
Clicking on the link will take you to my books website, tell you a bit more about it, and there’s even links so you can get yourself – or someone else – a copy. For now there are only ebooks available, paperbacks will follow shortly. A bit back to front but it can not be helped. I hope you like it.